Twilight Fenix (twilightfenix) wrote,
Twilight Fenix

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Where do you go from here?

I looked at my self today and realize I am still missing pieces of me but I am a lot more of myself than I used to be. There are certain things I find in my life that are justified and I have allowed those issues to walk all over me cause I have no idea how to approach it without sounding defensive or demanding. I look at this gaping hole in my chest where a soul should be and it’s there but cold and asleep most times waiting for something to set it back on fire.

Seems kind of depressing but I am identifying the situation to fix it so I can have myself back and to appreciate what I have or what I can offer to myself. I will admit I get restless I want more out of life but seriously what is more? Kind of have to wonder what it is ….

I was accused that I am selfish with my time and I all I can come with is yes I am selfish with my time cause it’s my time, and I will share it when it is needed or there is a give and take. I have given so much of my time to things that I feel like there not much else I can do but just move along and enjoy what I have.

People they say they miss you sometimes but I wonder if it’s you they miss or the attention you shower them, so when you do shower them again with affection they drop you again. These are some of the questions I ask if these people are the ones I want to keep around me, funny part is they are not on LJ they are not people I normally talk to unless I run into them online on AIM , MSN or something ..

I worry sometimes if I do that and I know I get distracted a lot of the time and forget to tell people I love them a lot and miss them, wish I could give them a strong embrace. Laugh with them over silly stuff and comfort when it’s needed. I want to tell everyone that I appreciate them but you just kind of forget when you are distracted it’s not a strong excuse but at least I can be honest to myself about it.
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