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Flushing out the discontent

I woke up earlier than I intended today. I don’t know if it was the dream I had or the restless pawing of a cat knocking things over. I just know today I just don’t feel very happy, just kind of detached at the moment or is it more like discouraged. At any rate I feel like I have not enough with anything or anyone. I just feel like a complete failure about things at the moment. I not sure why I feel like this it might the dream I had I am not sure. Sometimes I wish I could stop the words that repeat in my head sometimes that I have heard in the past but the negative things in life seem more visible than the good ones at times.

I know it will pass, I just don’t like this feeling cause it feels like someone has strapped me to a chair in a room and had everyone I have ever cared about yelling at me telling me how worthless I am. This is a feeling that makes me want to take showers repeatable times in a day hoping it will just wash away but there is always some infection growing back some little word someone[s] said that I allowed to build up and then I just want to explode.

Everyone is allowed to have flaws. Some people are allowed to turn the cheek accept the comments of those flaws others are too weak to handle them. When does it get to the point when even the strong people get rubbed raw enough to snap?


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 28th, 2005 12:08 pm (UTC)
Don't know; but isn't it the truth.
Jun. 28th, 2005 02:57 pm (UTC)
always the truth .. Never what you want to deal with
Jun. 28th, 2005 12:10 pm (UTC)
Even the strongest people snap. Trust me. Hope all gets better soon. I am here for you sitting at the coffee shop thinking good thoughts
Jun. 28th, 2005 02:38 pm (UTC)
*hugs*thanks I think it will just one of those moments
Jun. 28th, 2005 12:56 pm (UTC)
I've been told...
That I am a very strong person.

They obvious have never been on the end of a drunken phone call from me when I am suicidal - it happened only once a few years back and it almost distroyed that friendship, but has recently bloomed into one of my closest relationships.

Everyone breaks... and it "can't rain all the time."


Jun. 28th, 2005 02:39 pm (UTC)
Re: I've been told...
And your tears wont fall forever..

Jun. 28th, 2005 02:44 pm (UTC)
Re: I've been told...
*Hug back*

-TL :~)
Jun. 28th, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC)
Cheer up or and I'll tie Jake's toys to you, and let you both loose in the back yard. ;)
Jun. 28th, 2005 08:22 pm (UTC)
stephers...we all have flaws, and at times we are the ones who are mostly aware of them.

but in reality, our prespective is skewed, as we too often judge ourselves unfairy...

Those who judge us from the exteranl however, are even less qualified to do so, as ofen their words are about themselves and not you.

take care wtih the fact that none of us(even you) are worthless, and when someone (even ourselves) thinks that, it is untrue.

peace and love

Jun. 28th, 2005 08:31 pm (UTC)
Re: And...
Dave do you ever say anything shallow? 0.o

I think I drowned in your deepness of your wise words.

could you throw me a life saver? ;)

*hugs* thank you hun
Jun. 28th, 2005 08:36 pm (UTC)
Nice shoes....
Sure...sometimes....and heck, I even mean it ocassionally...


hey there stephers...they are less derived from wisdom than from expereience.

I have been in the deep dark crevace where it felt as if I would never climb out, and felt even less inclined to try...because I just did worth it.

and while life still has it's ups and downs, I now realize that it is not true...not for me, nor for any else.

(shallow comment ahead).

let me know the next time you are not wearing a bra, we can do lunch!

peace and love stephers.
Jun. 28th, 2005 08:54 pm (UTC)
... Wanna Dance?
Soo When are you free to come and visit ?
Jun. 28th, 2005 08:58 pm (UTC)
Re: ... Wanna Dance?
Dance...ooo...I need dance lessons....like really!

I am in town for a while, so just email me (or message me, I am on IM and yahoo...both as loudanddeep) and we can get our schedules worked out.


Jun. 29th, 2005 12:10 pm (UTC)
Re: ... Wanna Dance?
Well This weekend I will be out of town and the weekend after that I am busy buuuuutt the weekend after that I have a party..
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )