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Had to share this

Mom sent this to me as a Fwd. and granted I hate them most times. This one was rather funny 

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for 
common words. And the winners are . . . 
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly 
answer the door in your nightgown. 
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash. 
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run 
over by a steamroller. 
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. 
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul flies >up 
onto the roof and gets stuck there. 
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish 


Jan. 25th, 2007 10:14 pm (UTC)
=P You know you loved it