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photography ...

So appartently I have to take pictures of people conveying emotion... I might need some volenteers for this.

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I am alive ..... just working getting my life undercontroll. Joy....

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Update: email

 Email is okay now you go back to sending  email on the other account



Apparently my email account isnt working. They keep telling my password is invaild and I went to go reset it and the issue is it will be sent to a work e mail that no longer exist. I am trying to get a hold of them some other way on gmail but they really do not make it easy.

in the mean time if you need to get ahold me just contact me through Phoenix_goddess@msn.com

Update in July

4th of July
Had lots of people over for food and drinks. It was nice seeing everyone that came over and for the most part I was enjoying myself. The heat bothered most of the people but later in the evening it was more comfortable to go out side and relax. 

7th of July

Had a wonderful night with Greg for our 2 year anniversary. I was surprised by a new scanner/printer which I would have never of guessed. I got him a few shirts since year 2 is supposed to be Cotton. We mostly spent time with each other since he took the day off from work. We also went to Three forks  Since I have never been there. I can really see why he loves the food there. 

I get that a lot lately with the drama streaming down from all over the place. How do I justify my reasoning for playing a game that seems to cause a bit of stress? 

1) My friends play it and those people I enjoy playing with I get a smile on a face. That to me is priceless
2) Cheaper than having to pay for some over priced drink at a bar just to listen to others be catty to other people. 
3) No matter what the people I am around there is going to be drama. Let's face it cool people are like honey and Drama Lamas want to lick them. 
4) Story lines are fun and help inspire me to do other artsy stuff
5) I have fun
6) I like the distraction better than TV at times.

So some people worry about my stress levels well I can honestly state I am a lot better than where I was at and getting through it. Also I have weeded out certain things out of my life to make it more stress free. I refuse to give up and run away from an issues that happen but with certain people that have made up of their mind and I have lost respect for in some form or fashion we wont go into the details on it. 

Kind of hoping this weekend will be a little more fun and less stress since we have a friends wedding to go to, but Sunday I am dreading since I have to go over to my mom's again. I am at a point in my life where things are becoming more and more complicated and somethings I dreamed about having or doing are slipping away. I guess this is part of growing up having to give up somethings for others. I just kind of wish it wasn't dealing with school or having children, but I will make do with what I have and try to do my best to get a job that I am happy with and get things taken care of.



Weekend update

I had a nice a weekend for the most part at A-kon. I just wish I could have spent more time with my best friend outside the convention. I feel pretty drained right now and like I am coming down with something. Last night I had a huge melt down and it lasted for almost 2 hours. I went to my theropist today and told what all had happened and she showed me a diagram and showed me how I just let things build up on me and how people have certain levels before they get upset. I told her everything that I had blocked out and just broke down again today. I didnt realize how hurt I am inside how many losses I have encountered, how much anger I have for situation I feel are unjust. I had blocked out so much stored it all up that it just got bad. I feel better now just drained. I was told to write letters to all the people I had lost in my life that I felt I didnt get a chance to say it to them. I also need to just write down things that bother me alot more than I have been.


I know what I need to do now and what how I am going to approach things. I pretty sure I am going to be giving up a few things in my life that I know will be for the best. I have to confront a few more issues just deal with it and move on.

How I feel lately is



low selfesstem





How I feel about certain people that affect me Negtively




stand offish



Final count is in

So this Semester I made 3 A's and one B.

and so now total Credits toward my degree is


GPA is 3.8

Well hopefully I can push it up to a 4.0 in the next Semester.